Me:Camouflage-print button down says 'I'm Friday-night-services classy with a touch of urban flair.' Buttoned all the way up, of course. Little puff around the wrists to add some bulk and give my arms the illusion of robust musculature. Timeless black jeans capped with the anti-establishment sneakers look which I definitely wore to rebel against societal norms and not because I cried when my mom said I have to wear loafers. Top it off with an impeccable side part and, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think we've got what the ladies call a 'must-fuck.'
Jeremy:
Tragically underdeveloped runt of a boy. Tried to compensate with a stylish faux-tattoo on the back of his hand, but...sorry, I'm not feelin it. At least he can find comfort in the fact that his enormous ears grant him the power of echolocation.
Ivy:
It's bad enough that Bozo the Clown decided to trip on acid and barf all over her dress, but does she really have to have only one leg? Why God? Why?
Mom:
Beautiful; classy as always. But why the close-fisted shoulder touch? Is she not proud of her oldest son? Have I not made you...proud?.......Mother?
