"I've begun to notice an alarming trend at the workplace and that is the trend of not washing one's feet. With the economy what it is, many people have opted out of directly washing their feet, instead letting the sudsy water from their washed bellies drip over their feet, and somehow deciding that that is clean enough. Well I'm here to tell you that I don't care what the DOW Jones Industrial average says-- Wash your damn feet. Every evening when I shower and wash my hair, I take special care to slide my bar of ivory soap up and down the length of my feets, taking special care to wedge the bar between each of my toes in turn, and taking extra special care to grip it hard enough with my foot fist so that I can wriggle the soap bar around vigorously without it falling. After doing so, I will dab a nice amount of Garnier Fructis conditioner onto the roof of the foot to make it smell nice. Then I will dry the feet with a separate towel first, and the rest of my body second.
Now, I know times are tough and getting tougher. But if we can't hold fast to the few social courtesies that make us human, then we are liable to turn into the worst kind of ogres."
1 comment:
*Hides head in shame*
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